


When You're Older, You Will Understand

by adventurepants



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: Gen, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-24
Updated: 2009-08-24
Packaged: 2017-10-15 22:42:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/165602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adventurepants/pseuds/adventurepants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Serena is ten, and old enough to recognize the look on Eleanor’s face when she and Eric show up at the Waldorfs’ for the third time that month.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You're Older, You Will Understand

Serena is ten, and old enough to recognize the look on Eleanor’s face when she and Eric show up at the Waldorfs’ for the third time that month, their pajamas and school clothes and toothbrushes in a bag slung over her shoulder. She is embarrassed, but squeezes Eric’s hand and puts on a smile for his benefit- he is eight, and only wants to please everybody, wants everyone to be happy.

Blair appears at the doorway, grabbing Serena’s hand and tugging her inside. “S! Are you staying tonight? Are you hungry? Dorota will make you something.” Serena allows herself to be led towards the kitchen, pulling Eric behind her, as Blair calls out “Dorota!” She and Eric haven’t had dinner, and she’s _starving_.

Dorota makes them grilled cheese sandwiches, because she knows that’s what Serena likes on these nights. Blair sits next to her at the table and watches her eat. Serena doesn’t say much at first, but after a few minutes she is smiling again, throwing her head back and laughing as she chatters with Blair about the boys at school. Blair grins back at her.

“Where’s your mom?” Blair asks. Serena’s smile fades and she glances at her brother, chewing quietly across from her.

“I don’t know.” Serena shrugs, trying to sound casual. “France, I think? I bet she’ll bring home lots of presents, right Eric?”

“Maybe,” he says, the first word out of his mouth since they got there.

Serena turns back to Blair, and bites her lip. “We might need to stay tomorrow, too.”

Blair nods. “If she doesn’t come back in a couple of days, you can just stay here, okay S? You don’t have to go to Nate’s. Right, Dorota?”

Dorota clears away the plates and pats Serena’s shoulder. “I’m sure Mr. and Mrs. Waldorf will not mind.”

“Mind? Of course not, we love having Serena and Eric! Don’t we, Princess?” Harold Waldorf strides into the kitchen, leaning over to kiss the top of his daughter’s head, then Serena’s.

“Yes,” Blair answers firmly. “We do.”

“That settles it, then,” Harold declares, walking around the table to clap Eric on the back. “You’ll stay here until your mother gets home from her trip. Now, Eric, how is that math class going? Doing better?”

Eric nods, suddenly excited. “I think so! Do you want to see my homework? Serena, did you bring it?”

Serena nods and shuffles through the bag at her feet, until she finds Eric’s math paper, multiplication problems in two neat rows down the page. She hands it over, knowing Mr. Waldorf will ask about her own homework next, and she’ll have to tell him she didn’t do it. That was the thing about Blair’s dad- she never wanted to lie to him. But he was never mad. He’d only wink at Blair and say, “Well, now, we’ll just have to help her finish it before bedtime, won’t we?”

So they’d sit at the kitchen table together, Serena bent over her long division or reading questions, wishing more than anything that she could be Blair’s real sister, so she could have a father who cared, parents who came home every night.

Serena and Eric sleep in separate guest bedrooms when they stay with the Archibalds, but here she stays in Blair’s room, and Eric stays down the hall in the room that’s basically his. Staying with Nate is fine, but when her mother is gone, Serena always feels safer with Blair right next to her at night.

Kicking off her shoes, Serena slips in under Blair’s covers and waits for her best friend to come out of the bathroom. She squeezes her eyes shut until she feels the bed dip and hears Blair giggle. “S, you need to get up and put on your pajamas. And brush your teeth.”

“No, B,” she says, blinking lazily. “I’m too tired to move.”

Blair crawls under the covers and lays down, facing Serena, pressing their foreheads together. They stare at each other for a moment, and when Serena closes her eyes again, Blair knows what’s going to happen. “Don’t cry, Serena. It’s okay. She’ll come back soon.”

Serena turns her face into the pillow, hiding. “I wish she wouldn’t. I wish she would just stay gone and I wish you could adopt me and I could live here.”

“Don’t be silly, S,” Blair says, reaching out to pet Serena’s hair gently, the way her daddy does for her whenever she’s upset. “We’re the same age.”

Serena sniffles. “I know. But you take care of me better than she ever does.”

“And I always will,” Blair says, quiet and serious. “I promise. I’ll always be here for you.”

Turning back to Blair, Serena rubs at her eyes and promises herself this is the only time she’ll cry, because she has to be okay, for Eric. “Me too, B. I’ll always be here for you, too. I won’t be like my mom. I won’t leave.”

Blair smiles at Serena. “I know. Now go to sleep, we have school tomorrow.”

The next morning they arrive at school hand in hand, Eric trailing behind them. Kati and Is descend upon them immediately, and Blair squeezes Serena’s hand, because she knows what’s coming.

“Blair! Serena!”

“Serena, did you stay with Blair last night? Is your mom gone again?”

Serena opens her mouth to answer, but Blair beats her to it. “Kati!” she says, sharply. “I don’t think that’s any of your business, is it?”

“Well,” Kati begins, but the look on Blair’s face scares her into silence. Serena casts a grateful glance at Blair, and feels a smile spread across her face. If there’s one thing she knows for sure, it’s that Blair loves her the best.

Is starts gabbing enthusiastically while Kati recovers, and Serena knows that Blair is half-listening, half going over much more important matters in her head. She turns around to look at her brother, who has busied himself with kicking a rock on the ground. “It’s okay, Eric. You can go find your friends.”

Eric looks up and studies his sister quietly for a moment before speaking. “Are we staying with Blair again tonight?”

“Yep!” Serena answers, brightly, and by now Eric knows better than to ask when their mom is coming home.

“Okay,” he says, and sets off in search of the other third grade boys. “I’ll see you after school.”

Lily is gone for five days this time. On the third, Serena wakes up in the middle of the night and rolls over to see her brother asleep on the floor by Blair’s bed, wrapped up in a blanket like a cocoon. In the morning he’s gone, and she wonders if he sneaks in every night.

Serena makes a half-hearted attempt at her homework on the afternoon of the fifth day, her school books and papers spread out in front of her on Blair’s bedroom floor. The mess bothers Blair- Serena’s things are all over her room by now- but she keeps quiet about it, sitting across from Serena and correcting her mistakes. Serena is about to tell her to cut it out when Dorota knocks on the door. “Miss Serena? Mrs. Van der Woodsen is here to collect you.”

Serena looks up at Blair’s bedroom door but makes no move to stand up, until Blair does first and holds out her hand. “Come on. Let’s go.”

Eric reaches the entrance of the Waldorfs’ apartment before the girls do, and barrels straight into his mother, latching on tight. “I _missed_ you,” he says, his voice muffled against her.

Serena hangs back, half behind Blair. When Eric finally lets go, Lily holds out her arms for her daughter. “Serena, my darling! I missed you so much!” Serena goes to her mother reluctantly, allowing herself to be hugged.

Lily kisses her daughter’s cheeks and smiles so warmly at her that Serena almost forgets that she’s mad. “I hope you weren’t too sad with me gone, sweetheart.”

Blair scowls at Lily. “I took care of her,” she says, suddenly angry. “I always do.”

Serena nods. “Blair took care of me, Mom.”

“She’s lucky to have you, Blair,” Lily says, smoothing Serena’s hair away from her face. “Why don’t you go and get your things, dear, and we’ll go home.”

Blair reaches out towards Serena, but her eyes are on Lily, staring coldly. “Come on S, I’ll help.”

Serena follows Blair back to her room, glancing over her shoulder as she goes. Eric is wrapped around Lily’s waist, and Serena hopes, for him, that this will be the last trip for a while.

They’re quiet as they gather Serena’s things, her rumpled clothes draped over a chair, one shoe in the corner opposite its mate. Eric’s clothes are already folded neatly in his room, and as Blair places them in the overnight bag on top of Serena’s, she sighs, frustrated.

“You don’t have to be nice to her, okay?”

Serena shakes her head, looking down and letting her hair fall over her face. “I do. For Eric.” She shrugs. “It’s okay. I’m used to it.”

Blair just barely resists the urge to stomp her foot like a five-year-old, because it’s not _fair_ and she shouldn’t _have_ to be used to it. Instead, she puts the bag down and wraps her friend in a hug. “Call me if you need anything. I love you, S.”

She feels Serena almost deflate a little, hugging her back and letting out a long sigh. “I love you too, B.”


End file.
